Okay so it’s been a while, I spent 8 months in a secure unit with my weight dropping and my mental health declining, then in December an eating disorder nurse from my home team came to see me at 8am in the morning. I remember being woken at 7am and having a shower on a chair because my legs would not stand and then being whisked off to the relaxation room to see her.
The nurse wanted to admit me to a general hospital for refeeding but I refused as it was so close to Christmas and I just wanted to be where I felt settled for the festive period. That night I was driven back to my home county and admitted to a general ward. I felt like I was living in a nightmare. I had an NG tube inserted and was started on a feed straight away, drips were in my arms and blood tests taken.
A month later, here I am, still in the same bed, still being fed through a tube and struggling enormously. I feel fatter with each day, the sips of ensure are getting harder and not easier. The plan from here is to go to an eating disorder unit in London which I’m super scared about. I don’t know any more. This battle is hard.
Mental Illness Talk 
Sweetheart your loved and cared a lot about. We miss your tweets and the positivity you give others. We hope you get better soon so we can have you tweeting your words of support to others again. I hope this gives you a goal to head towards xxx
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Like so many others I’ve missed your presence immensely. This illness is a beast but you have shown us all what strength you have time and time again. You may not feel like it, but that strength is still there and you can beat this.
There is so much love for you out here, hold on to that and use it. xxx
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Keep going Clairey! You can do it xxx
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Nice to hear from you. Missing your blog posts but take care of yourself. I hope the journey gets easier for you and with the right care in place, that you are soon on the road to recovery. Small steps.
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Oh darling, it’s good to hear from you but so sad to know you are struggling like this. I’ve missed you lots and been thinking of you often. Never forget how loved you are. We are all waiting for you to return but take all the time you need to gain some strength and help. You can do this darling. Much love. If willing would you be able to send me your current address? @_shewrites_ on twitter xxx
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All my love I’m so sorry x
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