Tomorrow is the day. The day of my mental health tribunal and I must warn you at the beginning of this post that what I’m going to write may be upsetting and triggering. Writing this is opening up my vulnerability and it’s difficult to write.
Tomorrow a group of people get to decide my future but first I’d like to focus on some news I got today. 19 units were approached for me and only 1 accepted me….if this placement breaks down and doesn’t work then the final option will be palliative care.
Back to tomorrow, they may decide I can go home and I would then have no nutritional intake and would die from starvation or suicide or they decide that I have to stay on my section and go to Coventry to the new unit on the 3rd May. If the latter is decided I plan to run, to end my life because quite frankly it is unbearable and tortureous. I can’t do this and I’m sure that sooner or later this will end up in palliative care. I feel like a hopeless case.
Mental Illness Talk 
You’re not a lost cause. You need the correct, consistent therapy x
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Claire you aren’t a hopeless case, you’re stuck in a loop right now, but if you can get to this place in Coventry and start getting the therapy and treatment you deserve you can start to see how valuable you are again. Please don’t make any rash decisions because you have doctors who aren’t giving you what you need right now. I hope this tribunal provides the best outcome for you in the long run and as always I hope for you to be well. 💖
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Wish i could say it face to face, I only know you from your blog, but you aren’t a hopeless case, you will get well with the right treatment and care. This new Cygnet sounds as if it has been set up specifically for people with eating disorders and personality disorders so it will be a really positive move for you. I am so upset that your low secure unit let you become so unwell. Now is the time for you to get the care you need and get your life back from this terrible illness. Thinking of you.
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You need really good specialists working with you at full force. In this world anything is possible, and thus it is also possible for you to fully recover!
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