Sectioned: An Update

A couple of years ago I made a short video with Fixers about what it’s like to be sectioned for an eating disorder. This came about after I saw a comment online saying, “I wish I could be sectioned so that I could have a hug” I was utterly shocked by this. Being sectioned is not something I have ever wanted to happen to me and hugs are very rare when you are in hospital. After reading the shocking comment, I made ‘sectioned’ which can be watched here.

My life has changed a lot since then, a lot has happened and when I watch the video now I wish I could update it so I thought I’d do it in a blog post. In the video I had only experienced being sectioned under section 2 of the mental health act. I have now been detained under section 3 of the mental health act since 2015 and this is still on going.

In the video I talk briefly about the two weeks I spent on level 3 which is where a member of staff remains with you at all times, this includes in the shower/bath, on the toilet and whilst sleeping. I have now been on level 4 2:1 for 2 months and this is also ongoing. This means two members of staff are within arms length of me at all times. So now it’s not one pair of eyes on me while I sleep, go to the toilet, shower etc but two pairs of eyes on me. I haven’t gone to the toilet unsupervised since May 2016.

My ‘choice’ remains the same. I have to drink sickly, gloopy supplements or they go down the tube I have up my nose. The difference is that now I can’t bare to let it touch my lips and so everything goes down the NG tube. I say ‘choice’ because I don’t really get a choice, I have to have the supplement drink one way or another. Some days I am restrained whilst they pump the feed down my tube.

I still feel my skin crawling with calories, itching, bubbling. Maybe this sensation will always remain with me around food, maybe it will never go away and that scares me.

In the video, I say “The final section, I hope it was” and I am gutted to say it wasn’t, I have a few more to add to this list. I wish my update was that I was living a normal life and the facts of the video had not changed. I wish I could say I was well rather than wishing I could remake the video to fit with my current circumstances.

My message remains the same: Mental illnesses are not fashion accessories, eating disorders are not glamorous and being detained under the mental health act is not something to strive for. This is still my life and I would not wish it upon anyone.

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2 thoughts on “Sectioned: An Update

  1. I hope that one day you will be able to not feel so uncomfortable with food and nutrition that you are able to feed yourself. I have only ever been detained on a 2 a few times, and every time it’s been assessed to see if it needs to be a 3, I’ve been petrified of it being a 3. It’s my worst nightmare and I agree, there are no hugs whilst on section. In fact, there are far fewer hugs on section than when you’re at home. There are is also a lot more crying alone and without anyone to comfort you other than letting the crying take it’s course than when at home.

    I have also heard people saying they wish they could be sectioned for the ‘care’, but the reality is that it really is one of the most awful of experiences. I hope that one day you are able to move forward enough to not be sectioned so much.

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  2. I’m sure that the person who said that was not implying that it is easy being sectioned. Or maybe they were thinking of the care that you would expect to get while sectioned. That person probably has their own battle.
    I sometimes wish that I was sectioned so that I don’t have to cope with work and depression. But some people say that I am lucky to have a job because it makes my life easier. It’s all about perception and judgement.
    I hope you’re able to recover and live your life to it’s fullest. It sounds like you’re missing some therapy alongside the feeding. You’re physically recovering.

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