I Need Some Alone Time

I’m on 2:1 level 4 observations which means I have two members of staff (one qualified nurse and one nursing assistant) within arms reach of me at all times. It has been like this for nearly 2 months. I am never on my own. They are with me when I’m using the toilet, shower/bath, when I’m sleeping, when I’m changing clothes, washing my hands, blogging and tweeting. They are always there and I get no privacy.

Right now I just want to be on my own, in a silent room to let out the tears I’ve been holding back for so long. I want to be able to tweet, blog, Facebook, instagram without staff watching over my shoulder.

Alone time was always so sacred and important to me. I enjoy silence too. It’s nice to be in a field with no one in sight and the silence is only broken by the sound of your own footsteps. I used to sit on my sofa with no TV on, just total silence and I enjoyed it. It calmed me.

It will be this way until I go to the new unit in May. I will then have done nearly 6 months with two people either side of me at all times. I don’t think I can do it, but then again I don’t have a choice. This is how it has to be.

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4 thoughts on “I Need Some Alone Time

  1. Can you talk to your team and see if there is any alternative to this at all? It may be that it is just too risky to do anything else at the moment, but maybe if you were in a different environment it might be possible to reduce the obs. Just random thoughts, but thinking of you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I feel very concerned about the high level of powerlessness that you are feeling and the level of distress the lack of privacy (which I would see as a lack of treating you with dignity and respect) is causing you. I am left questioning what possible therapeutic value there can be in such relationships.

    Like

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