Building A Life Worth Living

A huge part of getting better for me is about building a life worth living. I used to be pretty much house bound. I would spend days on end inside my home and being outside in the fresh air was a novelty. I had no friends, no hobbies, there really was nothing to my life other than my illness and for that reason I had no motivation to be alive let alone commit to getting better. Having a mere existence was not a small chunk of my life, it was years and years of loneliness, isolation and nothingness. It was not something I ever envisaged changing but it did.

I can honestly say that this year I have lived more than I ever have before. I am still unwell but I am building a life worth living and it all happened on the day I appeared on BBC Breakfast and fell back in love with life again. That day I realised that I was more than an illness and that I do have talents. I began to participate in life more and grasp the opportunities I wanted rather than allowing my illness to make excuses and keep me locked away in my home.

For a very long time I wanted to die and I truly believed that was all that was left for me but I cannot explain how grateful I am now for those people that saved my life when I didn’t have the capacity to save myself. I found myself writing my life plan the other day. I used to be so scared of growing up but now it is written in black and white. I know where I want to live, the type of house I want, the career I am aiming for and I want children and a dog called Toast.

Building a life worth living used to be a difficult concept because I tried to live my life to please certain people but it wasn’t through love, it was through fear. We are given one life and a lesson I have learnt recently is that life is about what you make it and it is not selfish to do the things that you want to do, that is healthy. I know that a life worth living does not mean that mental illness magically disappears because unfortunately the two do not correlate. However, mental illness tends to steal a lot of things from it’s victim and acts like a blindfold so whilst building a life worth living is not a cure, it can certainly help to take those parts of your life back that the illness stole. Building a life worth living gives me hope, excitement and enjoyment and it builds up positive experiences that I never imagined that I would have, even just going to a nail bar with a friend. Now I have a reason to fight the suicidal thoughts my illness throws at me because I know who I am and I know that I want to be alive.

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3 thoughts on “Building A Life Worth Living

  1. This is such a powerful and inspirational post! I hope you achieve your life worth living, I know you will because you come across as super strong from your writing! Take care and stay strong! X

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  2. Great concept to write about and very important for recovery. This is something I’m always working on as well. It can be incredibly difficult because a lot of times you just have to take the plunge and jump into recovery before you know that a worthwhile life will be out their waiting for you. And then it’s tough when you try to build a life worth living and some things just don’t pan out so you want ot go back to your ED, but you’ve got to keep moving forward. Thanks for this reminder. Hope you’re well.

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