Mental Health Awareness Week: What I’d Like You To Be Aware Of

  1. I’d like you to be aware that my brain is poorly, this is not my choice.
  2. I’d like you to be aware that my mental illness has been traumatic and terrifying.
  3. I’d like you to be aware that I don’t hate food, I love food, but anorexia will not let me eat it.
  4.  I’d like you to be aware that I speak about my experiences because I hope it will make a difference to someone else. I do not do it for sympathy.
  5. I’d like you to be aware that I am so ashamed of the binge eating.
  6. I’d like you to be aware that my medication makes me drowsy, numb and slows me down. I am unable to function if I do not take it but taking my medication makes it difficult to function too.
  7. I’d like you to be aware that I often hide behind my smile and convince people I am fine when the truth is that I am still very poorly.
  8. I’d like you to be aware that sometimes I speak on national TV and end up crying afterwards because I don’t feel like I was good enough. I feel utterly worthless.
  9. I’d like you to be aware that I have huge aspirations that I am determined to achieve but my illness slows me down.
  10. I’d like you to be aware that nighttime is often the worst. I lay there in the dark struggling to sleep whilst horrible and disturbing images bombard my mind. When I eventually sleep my dreams are often not kind.
  11. I’d like you to be aware that I do not feel comfortable in my own skin, no matter how much I try to convince you I do.
  12. I’d like you to be aware that I take a lot of medication in order to be able to function on some kind of level.
  13. I’d like you to be aware that I spend a lot of my week in hospital appointments or group therapy and whilst I am incredibly grateful that I am able to have the support I do, each appointment overwhelms me with dread and anxiety.
  14. I’d like you to be aware that the night in the police cell was not my fault, nor the police’s. It was simply that there was not a hospital bed to go to.
  15. I’d like you to be aware that there have been very good days and very bad days this year and that gives me hope, I hope it gives you hope too because nothing in life is permanent.
  16. I’d like you to be aware that it upsets me when I’m ignored at my poorly times and clung on to during my success by the same people, there is nothing that makes me feel more alone than that.
  17. I’d like you to be aware that the things that are simple to you are often very challenging to me and whilst I may not bring your attention to this, some days exhaust me mentally.
  18. I’d like you to be aware that I hate waking up because breakfast terrifies me.
  19. I’d like you to be aware that when the voices in my head are bad and my mood is low then walking over a bridge or catching a train become incredibly difficult.
  20. I’d like you to be aware that sometimes I am childish, this is partly me hiding my distress and partly because my mental illness stole my childhood.
  21. I’d like you to be aware that I often feel like I haven’t done good enough and therefore rarely feel a sense of achievement.
  22. I’d like you to be aware that when I’m very poorly I struggle to remember anything or think straight or form sentences. Please realise that this is my illness and not me.
  23. I’d like you to be aware that getting dressed each day with body dysmorphia is such a challenge and often ends up with my bedroom covered in clothes and me in a heap sobbing.
  24. I’d like you to be aware that I have an addictive personality, I get addicted to anything and anyone and this often leaves me feeling hurt and in debt.
  25. I’d like you to be aware that when I tried to take my life it wasn’t because I didn’t love you, it was because I felt that everyone would be 100 times better off with out me. My illness blurred my thoughts.
  26. I’d like you to be aware that whilst I have come a long way with recovery, I still have an incredibly long way to go.
  27. I’d like you to be aware that sometimes I don’t want to talk, sometimes I just want to be around people who distract me from what is going on.
  28. I’d like you to be aware that I am a sociable person and I love being around people however my illness often locks me away in my house and leads me to cancelling any plans I have.
  29. I’d like you to be aware that I do not hide my scars because I accept them. I cannot wear long sleeves for the next 70 years. I wish I didn’t have them but I accept that I do and I wish you would too.
  30. I’d like you to be aware that having a mental illness is hard but it’s even more difficult when people don’t understand it and harder still when people don’t want to understand it.
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